Don't Go Silent
The Happy Reset Button
DON’T GO SILENT
Some years ago, at a family dinner, I had felt misunderstood, like my input was discounted.
So I just quit talking. I stopped making any comments about anything. Later, DawnChere said “Mom, you can’t just shut down like that!” Thank God for strong daughters! I’m thankful for her loving & wise honesty and concern.
I have had to learn not to “Go silent”, but rather, stay engaged! It’s a temptation at times for all of us.
This going to be short and sweet!!
SOME THINGS WE CANNOT CHANGE. SOME THINGS WE CAN CHANGE!
So, the “shortcut” to peace, joy, and inner strength is refusing to spend our days and years pouting & hurting over things we have no power to change!!
BUT, instead, WE CAN FOCUS ON WHAT WE DO HAVE POWER OVER! I have the power to choose my thoughts, my motives, my actions and my reactions! PERIOD! I am not a victim, I choose to be strong,, and I will not be manipulated. My heart will heal as I forgive, trust God, and move on!
We cannot get “stuck” on any “disconnect” of being sad, mad, hopeless, hurt or shut down for any reason. I have to fight for my peace of mind, and you do too!! But, it is worth the fight!!
THE POWER OF GENTLENESS
Your Inner Dialogue
Sometimes I’m surprised at my thoughts! Lol… it’s like: okay, I’m a patient person, but my thoughts can turn soooo impatient. Or I’m convinced I forgive easily, and then I battle with thoughts of unforgiveness and even thoughts that seem… “how do you say “.. bitter?? Surprise!! Surprise!!”
What we are SAYING TO OURSELVES directly affects our conclusions, emotions, decisions, identity and inner strength! It affects EVERYTHING!!!
We are always involved in “inner dialogue”! Always! But, we can learn to “step back” from our inner flow and actually LISTEN TO WHAT WE HAVE BEEN THINKING!! Be brave… it can be alarming.
Possibly the most thought-altering perspective is simply widening the inner circle in your mind. In other words, BEING AWARE OF SOMEONE ELSE LISTENING TO YOUR THOUGHTS.
I remember loving my mom’s gentle touch!
There were so many times as a little girl watching TV or being in church, I would lay my head in her lap and she would gently stroke my arms. Or when I was sick, I can still feel her cool, soft hand on my forehead, as she prayed for me and reassured me I was going to be fine!
I want my children to remember my touch as gentle.
I have friends whose hug or embrace is so tender that it inspires me to cultivate my own gentle touch!
It’s so natural to hold a baby with a very real, intentional and careful tenderness. In fact, the younger the baby, the greater level of gentleness he or she inspires!
Yet, as our children grow older (and bigger!), we can underestimate the power of a gentle touch.
The fact is, whether a gentle hug or pat on the arm, .. or a kind, soft whisper of encouragement… there is tremendous power in gentleness.
Daily New Beginnings
Here are the bottom-line questions that surface in my mind and my heart when I need a “belief adjustment:” (And we all KNOW when we are struggling on the inside! So glad you understand!)
Do I really believe I will overcome the challenges of my life? Do I truly believe my children will grow up as happy, healthy adults, who enjoy and love one another?
Doubt is so subtle.
Our inner strength is dependent on our beliefs! I have learned to trace most of my overwhelmed, tired-of-the-battle feelings to a lack of belief that things will work out.
Every family needs a new beginning. A New Year seems to give us all just that! But the truth is, YOUR FAMILY GROWTH REQUIRES DAILY NEW BEGINNINGS! What does that really mean? I believe it is “refusing to drag yesterday’s frustrations, hurt feelings and pressures into the ONE DAY you are currently living!”
It is simply “FOCUSING on NOW and finding fulfillment in ONE DAY lived well.”
ENJOY! ENJOY!! ENJOY!!!
Whether it’s preparing to celebrate Christmas or multitasking on any given ordinary day throughout the year…WE CAN CHOOSE TO ENJOY THE MOMENT!
For most of us, the lessons learned from the past always include: “I wish I had stopped worrying and just ENJOYED everything MORE!!!”
“Everything” usually includes the big things, like living in a free country, our health, our family & friends…. as well as what we may call “little“ but really are great things, like sunsets, radiant colors of flowers, loving conversations and laughter!
Mercy Versus Excuse
Life is one big parade of New Seasons! Right? Just when you feel like you’ve got it all under control, strategy intact, and you start to relax or coast…THERE IT IS; a new season! Now what..?
Actually, new SEASONS bring new OPPORTUNITIES & BLESSINGS. Granted the “unknown “ is intimidating at times, but a good dose of curiosity, courage, and faith makes it exciting!
Every parent needs discernment!!
Many times it is difficult to know whether your little one (or your teenager!) is being willfully disobedient, or if they truly did something without thinking, or if they were so distracted they weren’t even aware of what they did or didn’t do,.. OR if they were genuinely feeling bad physically!
While writing this blog, I was in the Charlotte airport. Actually, it was in the Ladies Room... that I experienced the most fun, happy, helpful facilities assistant! EVER!! Everyone was greeted, “Hey pretty lady! Come on in!” She was wonderful! She told a little girl, “Hi, Pretty Girl! Did you know this is the Pretty Girl Bathroom!” Her goodbye to everyone was “ You have a happy day, honey!! God bless!!”