Why Best Buddies
My college president used to say, "The only thing that never changes is CHANGE!”. I can't decide if I am impressed because I listened or because I remember that FAR back!
For me, having my third child (of 7) was one of the most significant NEW seasons of change. On one seemingly insignificant afternoon, I was shocked watching my two little girls and their little redheaded brother play. They were vying for the biggest piece of pizza, arguing, siding with one another against the other, expressing less than friendly attitudes ("mean" would be more accurate) toward one another, etc, ETC! Actually it was more like “Playroom POWER STRUGGLE 101”!
My “AH-HA MOMENT” rocked me: “Your kids have their own relationships with one another, independent of you. Their lifelong patterns of relating & responding to each other have already begun!”
WHAT? My darlings could possibly fight like my brother and I fought? They could grow up and be distant from one another like the many siblings my Pastor/Coach husband and I observe at the funeral of the mom or dad. I could not even imagine Destiny and DawnChere’ living “disconnected” with months or years passing with no true communication. It was painful to even think Denny Rodney would not be a loving, protective brother to his sisters when they were adults. I was shaken by the reality of that possibility, a “norm” for many families.
IT WAS SETTLED FOR ME THAT DAY: I would not be passive, negative, or resigned on any level regarding my children's relationships with one another. They may not like everything about each other, understand one another on every level, or even agree politically or in any other area! Their styles and interests may be worlds apart…
BUT THERE WOULD BE THREE NON-NEGOTIABLES IN OUR FAMILY:
- We love one another fervently and unconditionally
We defend and stand with one another against any attack or enemy
WE BELIEVE IN AND CHEER ONE ANOTHER ON IN THEIR PURSUIT OF FULFILLMENT & PURPOSE!
How do you create that kind of family culture? I certainly didn't know how, but I knew I had to be proactive. So... I wrote a song. Not just a song actually, a DECLARATION!
“We’re going to be the Best Buddies, this world has ever seen
We’ll be loyal to each other, and we’ll share everything.
I know it sounds like a miracle, and that’s just what we’ll be.
‘Cause with God’s love he’ll make Best Buddies out of you and me!”
This little song became our family motto: it was fun to sing, great for dialogue, and always a frame of reference. I don’t think I really understood the impact it would have. Of course we know the power of words is beyond our comprehension, especially the words WE SPEAK (or sing) that enter OUR EARS!
Today, I believe that the growing up years my children sang this self-professing prophecy over their lives….not really aware each time of any impact or change...has been a significant factor in the now reality of our now adult children truly loving each other. So, there’s the "why" of Best Buddies and just a small part of our story. And to be honest, writing this blog for you has been a timely (and always needed) reminder for me to STAY FOCUSED, even now and ready for every new ever-changing season in our ever-growing family.
Thanks for listening to our story; I would love to hear about your family! ❤
Never Give Up!